Our goal is to have our marriage reflect God’s love for all of His children and to fulfill God’s purpose through us.
So many times friends comment on my social media under pictures/posts and say things like, “#marriagegoals” or “when I’m married I want a marriage like yours!” or “you and Jacob are a perfect couple!”
Of course we L O V E hearing these words - it’s such an encouragement! But I often think, ‘we’re far from perfect.’ We struggle, we fight, we disagree, we annoy each other sometimes, and we argue like any other couple too.. But keeping God in the center of it all is what we want people to see!
One thing I consider a big no-no in our marriage is venting our marriage problems to others.
It may seem minute when we just blow off steam to our friends, coworkers, family, and neighbors about what we struggle with in our home, but what may seem temporarily satisfying can slowly and gradually hurt your marriage.
Here’s why:
When we vent, we tend to speak negatively about our husbands. Sometimes, we don’t even say anything negative about our husbands, but instead of going to him to work it out, you choose to vent to someone without the intention of resolving it with your husband.
Don’t get me wrong, going to someone for Godly counsel is a wonderful idea! Having someone to go to for prayer and advice such as a mentor, pastor, or God-centered friend can be life changing! But more than likely, if you’re entering a conversation without the intent of getting hard-truth and advice to work things out with your husband, you are probably just going to babble on about the cons of him.
So when the time comes when you feel like you need to vent - first and foremost, go to God! Often times there are things we struggle with internally and it’s so natural to pile it on our husbands or blame them because they're an easy target. I’ve struggled with this a lot.. Jacob may say something so minuscule, but it triggered something from my hurting past. That was something I needed to go to God with and let go of a past hurt onto Him before it destroyed my marriage from the inside out! Bringing my problems to God first also helped me realize that I was struggling with something internally before I even knew I was battling it!
We have to remember in all we do, we represent God and His great big love for us! If I were to go on Facebook and post a status about our fights and disagreements everything single time - do you think friends would comment/share the same thing? Probably not. If I were to go to my friends, coworkers, family, and neighbors and bashed Jacob about a simple mistake he made - do you think they would see a God-centered marriage? Probably not.
Our goal is to have our marriage reflect God’s love for all of His children and to fulfill God’s purpose through us (individually and as a couple).
John 15:5 -
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
I’m no marriage counselor, but one thing is certain - clinging to God and allowing Him to be our mediator when times get tough; this is what keeps us whole and fruitful.
Comments